I'm not sure, but my best guess is that me and 'my side' of the family is cursed. Some kind of horrible generations wide curse that a sorceror put on us in the Medieval Ages. My whole life situations have cropped up that you just don't think of. I find myself in predicaments that I can relate only to prime time sit-coms. I am not going to dredge up any from my high school days for obvious reasons but I'll give you one that happened just this past Monday (another birthday surprise for my hubby).
I was sitting at my desk, at work, doing my work thang. You know typey-typey-type, clicky-clicky-click, print some stuff, file some stuff. (its really more in depth than that but that's all it looks like I'm doing) It's a different desk as most of you know I'm in a different department now. A few weeks ago I found a stress ball laying around in one of the drawers it was a cool looking squishy red one. It looked like a thick balloon filled with some kind of liquid. I had used it on and off and just the week before mentioned to a co-worker that it didn't really do anything because it felt kind of flimsy, like it might break. He came over and (he's a giant baseball playing, hockey guy) squeezed this stress ball - he said, "There I squeezed it as hard as I can and if I can't break it, you can't break it."
To me that was sound reasoning, I mean no, I am not stronger than him so that equates to not being able to break the stress ball. You see where this is going don't you? I digress, said co-worker is on holidays this week, and I'm squishing the ball as I read over my reports for the morning. When all of a sudden there is a loud POP! And in the same instant I am covered in neon orange slippery liquid. I sat stock still in shock.
My co-workers heard the sound and called from their offices "hey is everything ok?"
No, no it is not...
They all came out and saw this:
Me, with orange goo splattered on my face, caked in my hair, soaking my blouse and skirt, seeping into my desk chair, covering my computer monitor, keyboard, mouse, floor, desk surface. You name it, it has orange goo on it. I immediately unplugged my keyboard and rushed it to the bathroom to lay it upside down over the sink, while co-workers A and T sopped up the gooey mess with paper towels, I washed my face in the bathroom and came out to help. They gently suggested I go home and shower and change my clothes before the neon goop could set into a stain. Also whatever they put in those stress balls is very obviously pure chemical because the smell of it is grotesque. The only thing I could think of is it smelled like melting plastic.
I followed said advice, and quickly went home threw my clothes in the washing machine, hopped in the shower, scrubbed until my first layer of skin was gone and hopped out. Quickly got re-dressed and made myself look presentable and hurried to the car to go back to work - only - the car didn't start.
This was getting ridiculous. My car is one of those WON-derful cars who occasionally decides you MIGHT be a theif so just in case it makes you wait 15 minutes to be able to start your car. Well I'm sure it works because I certainly won't wait around for 15 minutes so my best guess is that a theif won't either. I took C's bike and cycled back to work. The rest of the day was without incident - I sort of wish I had a picture of me all shocked and covered in goo but then I come to my senses and realize that I don't wish that at all.