Friday, May 31, 2013

Sisters

Do you have a sister?  I do, but I didn't always.  I find people tend to think that sisters have to be born to the same parents - not so, in my case.  The people who aren't lucky enough to be born into sisterhood sometimes strike it lucky a little down the road when they find their sisters.

I was never one to have oodles and oodles of friends.  My family moved alot and I always made friends easily but then we would move.  My brothers are some of my best friends. But one day, just like in the fairy tales, we finally settled down in a little town where it looked like we wouldn't be moving any more.  It was there that I found my sisters.  We are all very different from one another.  In adolesence and even teenagehood sometimes this caused fights and problems.  Not unlike biological sisters - we squabbled, we annoyed one another but I also knew that no matter what these girls had my back.  I could come to them with any problem and all my secrets and they would listen and help in the best way they knew how.  They were the kind of friends where our parents knew one another and my sister's moms were as likely to give me hell for something as my own mother was.

As we grew up many of them have scattered, travelling the world, pursuing their dream career, experiencing working and living in a foreign country and just generally spreading their wings and living life.  We all still keep in contact, but its never the same as it is in highschool where you see each other every day and know all of their day to day things.  I read, on another blog I follow (http://www.lulabelleblog.com/ ) a quote from the office - "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard.  I couldn't have put it better myself. 

The prompt for this post was a lengthy skype date with one of my sisters.  I miss that girl so much.  ((I miss all of you so much!))  We talked late into the night and I can't wait to hug her in just two months!  Until then I am forever grateful for the many ways there are to connect with one another.  Have a great weekend everybody!

xoxo

~t   

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Slowing down

It's something we should all know how to do.  But do we actually do it?  It's something I'm being forced to consider. 

Overnight, for no obvious reason, Paige has started stuttering.  It's not something she can control and she gets very upset when she can't make her wants or needs known right away.  At first we just kind of ignored it, waiting for her to finish her sentence.  Then we tried to help her by re-stating what she said without stuttering and letting her try again, slower.  It's helping a little but she's still doing it and is still frustrated by it.  I really feel for her.  I mean she's been talking since she was a year old and talking in sentences since a year and a half.  She also speaks properly most of the time, using correct pronouns etc.  For her to not be understood is almost a foreign concept now and its really upsetting for little Paige.  Yeah it seems crazy but I was the same way.  Maybe its because I talked so early but I also speak very quickly.  I am also always, always busy.  Going somewhere, doing something, rushing.  Always rushing.  It actually brings a song from my childhood to mind.

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

I asked my co-workers about it at coffee time this morning and someone brought up that their son had developed a stutter the same way Paige has, almost overnight.  She took him to the doctor about it and the doctor said the solution was simple.  Slow down.  When life is too fast and they feel rushed they are trying to hurry but they're too little.  They can't.  I feel terrible.  I did this.  We are in the process of packing as we will be moving in 2 to 3 weeks so yeah - my house is chaos.  I am always trying to cram more into a day because there is SO. MUCH. to do.  But at what cost? 

I want to cry just typing this.  No mother wants to cause their child stress.  I don't want her to feel rushed.  I guess I always, or almost always, feel in a rush - I don't want her to feel the way I do and yet that's exactly what I'm doing.  I can't thank my co-worker enough.  With one simple comment she just changed my life.  I need, NEED to slow down - in every aspect of my life.  It will take more 'after hours' work on my part I do believe but it will be so worth it if I can help my baby girl.

xoxo

~t

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Improptu getaway

This past weekend was a busy one - I could've used another day just to rest up - or accomplish something at home. 

Friday after work Paige, my mom and I went to my Granny's farm for a visit.  It is about a 40 minute drive but we love it there!  Paige l-o-v-e-s animals but especially the big ones.  "I go see the cows mommy! I neeeeed ta go see the cows!" As soon as she'd given out her hugs to Granny and Grandpa we were off to see the animals. 

First stop was the chicks - but they're not so yellow and fluffy any more.  They're starting to be more like chickens so we didn't stop there for long.  Next up was the cow.  I'll explain a little here - my grandparents have lots of cows however they recently bought one that they intend to use as a milk cow - however she did not have a very good home previously so they are fattening her up and letting her settle into her new life before they let her be bred.  She is in the main barn yard area sperated from the other cows, horses and sheep by panels and fences.  I called and called for her to come over but no such luck.  She's still a little wary of people but she's warming up.  Paige however, must have intrigued her.  (shes unnamed as of yet but they're working on it fow now lets call her Bessie)  Paige reached out and touched her nose - just a bit - but I think Paige must've smelled sweet.  She usually does, sweet and sticky.  Thereafter Bessie followed Paige.  Grandpa took Paige to see Mrs.Potts' kittens.  There are 4 and oh my are they cute! There is a black tabby, a cream, an orange with faint stripes and a regular tabby.  Paige was so sweet with them.  When we got up to leave Grandpa opened the barn doors and there was Bessie waiting for Paige.  We saw the horses, sheep, and laying hens and everywhere we went Bessie was not far away.  Paige even gathered eggs for the very first time!!

It was a really special moment to see her performing a task with Grandpa's gentle instruction much the same way I was taught some 20 + years ago.  We went in for supper and had some good old fashioned mennonite fare.  Rollkuchen with watermelon, saskatoon sauce and rhubarb sauce.  As well as home made farmer sausage and Warshbobbit.  <-- spelt wrong FOR SURE but that is how you say it.  It's basically a caserole dish with farmer sausage on the bottom and a biscuit dough on top.  (not my thing but I had my rollkuchen (Rawl - cuke - en ) and watermelon.  We ate until we were stuffed, un-button your pants, take off your belt full - then Granny, Mom and I played scrabble while Paige and Grandpa built block towers.  It was lovely.  A perfect evening.

The next morning Hubby had a breakfast meeting and we decided we were going to go to the lake.  I packed up an over night bag for each of us and when he got home we started our 3 hour drive to Lac Lu.  By the time we reached Homewood (15 minutes in) we realized we had forgotton Paige's soother.  *great*  Neither of us wanted to turn around so we kept on going.  By Brunkild we had decided a pit stop at Kenaston Walmart was in order.  My lap top wasn't working to play the DVD's we had brought and Paige was already not digging this whole 'drive for a really long time' thing.   We bought road-trip gold there.  A portable DVD player that just plugs into the car.  Perfect.  No dying battery problems.  Also we did buy .. MORE soothers.  Something I swore I wouldn't do.  Ah well - what is parenting if not figuring out you were wrong? Right? ugh.

The road trip continued.  We were a little past Winnipeg when we saw smoke - lots of smoke.  We discussed what we thought it could be but as we got closer it was pretty clear that it was a car accident of some kind.  For anyone who doesn't know my Hubby is a fire fighter.  We are a fire family.  This was the worst part of the whole weekend because sometimes?  Human kind sickens me.  We are stopped because clearly there is an accident.  People got out of their cars to get a better look.   Please forgive me if you've ever done this.  But DON'T DO THIS.  People are letting their kids out of the car walking up closer to the scene.  I'm sorry.  This is not a road-side attraction - it is a tragedy.  You don't need to know whats happening because it does not concern you.  I was so angry.  My Hubby, bless his heart - wasn't, he sighed and told me there is no point getting angry.  That is just how people are.  Nosey.  A vehicle, possibly two are on fire - and you want your children to see this??? Why?  You are watching the worst day of someone's life and possibly the last.  (not in this case thank goodness everyone was ok!  http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/story/2013/05/25/mb-rv-fire-highway-one.html )

 Put yourself in that car.  Do you want 20 strangers staring at you while emergency crews try to save you, your family, and your vehicle?  No matter if it was an accident in which everyone survived and is fine or much worse - it is not something you want your kids to see.  Be a decent human being and don't leave your vehicle if there is information that you need to know - an officer will come and tell you at your window.  Sorry for the rant - but this is a very tender issue for me.  I'll just get down off my soap box now...

We got turned around and followed the traffic.  I texted Hubby's family and we decided to try and use back roads to drive around the accident.  An extra hour and a half and we were kind of back where we started... actually a little farther away but we saw lots of scenery including LOADS of Paige's favourite - COWS!  And honestly?  It was fun to be on an adventure with Hubby.  We didn't have a clue where we were but we both just enjoyed the ride and soaked up the Disney songs playing in the background. (haha)

  We left our house at 9:00 am and arrived at the lake around 2:00 pm.  It was a long haul!  We did finally get there and had a good time seeing everyone and getting caught up.  Paige made her rounds and got lots of treats and attention!  We had a good visit and I'm so glad we went.  We both seem to just unwind when we get there.  We arrived home Sunday afternoon and spent the afternoon puttering around.  All in all it was a great weekend - a play on the farm, a road trip, an adventure, some R & R and lots of family time!

How was your weekend??

xoxo

~t  

Friday, May 17, 2013

Something about rain

I love rain.

I love everything about it.  Some of my favourite memories are brought rushing forward by the sounds and smells of a gray, rainy day.  I was never a kid who was afraid of thunder and lighting.  Quite the opposite.  I remember on the farm, Granny sending my 2 brothers, 4 cousins and I outside in our underwear to play in a warm rain shower.  Squiging our toes in the mud and jumping in puddles with bare feet, delirious with laughter after convincing the younger ones that it was not mud they were standing in, but quicksand.

I loved sitting at the kitchen table coloring while listening to the thunder and trying our best to draw the flashes of lightning illuminating the night.  Our good ol' Rozzie-dog cowering behind Grandpa's recliner, slinking further back into the corner with every crack and shudder from outside.  Even knowing why she was afraid didn't scare us any.  Rozzie had once been a barn puppy, sleeping peacefully on a stormy night, when the barn she was in was struck by lightning and caught fire.  She made it out but ever after that detested storms.  We would cuddle and hug her trying to calm her nerves - telling her it was only God's angels bowling and that everything would be alright.  How funny that must've looked!  Two little blonde headed girls trying to make a 100 lb great dane/german shepard feel better.

Even as I became a teenager, rainy days never lost their appeal.  For a large part of my youth I worked at a golf course in the kitchen and rainy days were usually slow.  They were spent prepping but prepping doesn't require much concentration so there was lots of story telling and good natured ribbing.  The people I met at that job helped shape who I am and taught me a lot.  One person in particular - when we met it was like we had known each other a hundred years already.  Our souls knew each other even if our faces were unfamiliar.  It was not in a romantic way but in a way I can't even explain.  One such memory is of us, while on a break, sitting on the freezers in the the storage room with the loading door wide open.  A storm was rolling in and the poplars were swaying in the breeze.  He got out his guitar, played a melody and sang a song I didn't know.  He's not in this world any more and I'm so grateful that I knew him.

Time goes on and we continue to learn and grow.  Sometimes too quickly, sometimes not quickly enough.  It was also on a rainy night, that I fell in love.  I managed to get my car stuck in the mud on the side of a country road - and had no one to call but the man I now call my husband.  He came to my rescue even though I did not know what road I was on.  Even though I gave him the most terrible directions on how to get to where I thought I was.  He came.  We left my car there and he drove me where I needed to go.  All the way there we talked about our families.  Competing to see whose was the most dysfunctional.  I fell asleep that night listening to the rain, knowing that I loved him.

So, you see?  To me a rainy day is not just the weather du jour.  The feeling of the cool air on my face and the sound of pitter patter on the ground is all it takes and I am transported a million miles away to a childhood memory. 

Tonight after work it will be time to create some childhood memories for Paige.  It will be a puddle jumping, fun in the rain kind of evening.  If I'm lucky she'll love it just as much as I do.

xoxo

~t       



 

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Stars align

Sometimes the stars align so that something awful happens.  It sucks and it hurts when tragedy strikes down with its iron fist.  It makes us question our lives and how we live.  It makes us realize that you really never know. 

For a fire fighter wife such as myself - we know this.  I know that at any time, anywhere if hubby's pager goes off - he leaves.  It could be a nothing call.  It could be a call that will haunt his dreams and turn him quiet for weeks.  It could fall somewhere in the middle. 

Every once in awhile life smacks you in the face.  Events that come to pass turn your gaze solemn and your heart sad.  Events that even though you may not be directly connected, you weep for the ones who are.  You ache for their loss.  Your dreams are filled with role reversals.  You want to help.  But no amount of help you can give can ever make your fellow fire family whole again. 

I have no answers.  I have only prayers.  Prayers for peace for their minds, sleep for their bodies, and strength for their souls.  Please join me.  One more reason I love small towns, is the power a community has when it comes together to help a family struck by the unthinkable.  Please pray and help someone today.     

Friday, May 3, 2013

The sky is blue and it is a good day

I don't really have much to post.  There is a lot of bad in the world.  I believe there is also a lot of good.  One good thing in the world is my husband.  I mostly refer to him here as 'hubby' or 'C' but anyone who knows me in real life knows him.  Here's a friday fun tribute to my other half.

Oh my husband
It's you and me
We met so young
It was hard for others to see
That we were meant for each other
Me for you, and you for me

You bring me down to earth
When I'm floating in a worried sky
You take the cotton out of the vitamins
And turn the lids off the pickle jars

You make mondays fun
And sweatpants classy
Even though I know
It's not the dog who's gassy

You may not always be listening
When Sid's on the TV
But our date nights
Are great nights

No matter where we are
So long as its you and me

It may not be the best piece of poetry ever written but it 'good enough for the girls I go with' ;)

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

xoxo

~t



photo credit A Marie Photography