Wednesday, July 24, 2013

This doesn't happen in real life

I'm not sure, but my best guess is that me and 'my side' of the family is cursed.  Some kind of horrible generations wide curse that a sorceror put on us in the Medieval Ages.  My whole life situations have cropped up that you just don't think of.  I find myself in predicaments that I can relate only to prime time sit-coms.  I am not going to dredge up any from my high school days for obvious reasons but I'll give you one that happened just this past Monday (another birthday surprise for my hubby).

I was sitting at my desk, at work, doing my work thang.  You know typey-typey-type, clicky-clicky-click, print some stuff, file some stuff. (its really more in depth than that but that's all it looks like I'm doing)  It's a different desk as most of you know I'm in a different department now.  A few weeks ago I found a stress ball laying around in one of the drawers it was a cool looking squishy red one.  It looked like a thick balloon filled with some kind of liquid.  I had used it on and off and just the week before mentioned to a co-worker that it didn't really do anything because it felt kind of flimsy, like it might break.  He came over and (he's a giant baseball playing, hockey guy) squeezed this stress ball - he said, "There I squeezed it as hard as I can and if I can't break it, you can't break it."

To me that was sound reasoning, I mean no, I am not stronger than him so that equates to not being able to break the stress ball.  You see where this is going don't you?  I digress, said co-worker is on holidays this week, and I'm squishing the ball as I read over my reports for the morning.  When all of a sudden there is a loud POP!  And in the same instant I am covered in neon orange slippery liquid.  I sat stock still in shock. 

My co-workers heard the sound and called from their offices "hey is everything ok?"
No, no it is not...
They all came out and saw this:

Me, with orange goo splattered on my face, caked in my hair, soaking my blouse and skirt, seeping into my desk chair, covering my computer monitor, keyboard, mouse, floor, desk surface.  You name it, it has orange goo on it.  I immediately unplugged my keyboard and rushed it to the bathroom to lay it upside down over the sink, while co-workers A and T sopped up the gooey mess with paper towels, I washed my face in the bathroom and came out to help.  They gently suggested I go home and shower and change my clothes before the neon goop could set into a stain.  Also whatever they put in those stress balls is very obviously pure chemical because the smell of it is grotesque.  The only thing I could think of is it smelled like melting plastic. 

I followed said advice, and quickly went home threw my clothes in the washing machine, hopped in the shower, scrubbed until my first layer of skin was gone and hopped out.  Quickly got re-dressed and made myself look presentable and hurried to the car to go back to work - only - the car didn't start.


This was getting ridiculous. My car is one of those WON-derful cars who occasionally decides you MIGHT be a theif so just in case it makes you wait 15 minutes to be able to start your car.  Well I'm sure it works because I certainly won't wait around for 15 minutes so my best guess is that a theif won't either.  I took C's bike and cycled back to work.  The rest of the day was without incident - I sort of wish I had a picture of me all shocked and covered in goo but then I come to my senses and realize that I don't wish that at all.




Tuesday, July 23, 2013


The hubby's birthday was yesterday and in honour of that we had a really fun weekend.  We spent Wa-AY too much money, he got a get-out-of-jail-free card similar to the one in Monopoly (that he has already used) and just generally had a good time and didn't worry too much about anything. 
Being that we had an all weekend celebration, yesterday, his actual birth-day I forgot.  Yep. Plum forgot. We woke up and went through our normal routine when we were both sitting down at the table eating our eggs - I chatted about that evenings plans and how I needed him to make supper yadda yadda.  He threw out some hints - he even said 'I think I'm going to delete my facebook!' me 'Why?' him 'I just have SO many messages today'  me 'why? from who?'  A fail of epic proportions.  He had no sooner left the house and was all the way down the street when it clicked. 

BIRTHDAY, awh shit. I quickly called him and he answered laughing.  It's good that he knows me well enough to know I don't mean to forget. 

He is a great man, the best father and my best friend.  I could go on and on but I'm already tearing up.  Check out this poem I wrote for the Hubby awhile ago.  It sums us up pretty good.



Monday, July 22, 2013

Monday, Monday.

Feeling gloomy? 

Check out this dog with a mustache.

Yep that's Bauer and every time he drinks water he gets this mustache and I crack up - every time. 

Happy Monday! 



Friday, July 19, 2013

A Tribute

*this post has a sad tone and is very personal I won't blame you one bit if you go read a funny one*** =)  Not my usual for a Friday but its something I need to get out. 

This is a tribute to a dear friend and mentor who was lost to the world a little over 6 years ago.  His untimely fate was the start of a season of loss in which the Hubby and I leaned on each other and became the kind of friends that can endure most anything.  It is hard to believe that so much time has passed but I will never forget the 4 friends we lost that year.  May they Rest In Peace.

The poplars sway
And the clouds rush in
An acoustic guitar
Plays clear above the din

A sweet voice
And a bubbling melody
I close my eyes
And let it carry me

I often hear the whisper
Of little leaves on wind
Everytime I think of you
It brings me back again

Your fate taught lessons
No one ought to have to learn
There are things worse than death,
A tombstone or an urn

I learned them as best I could
And leaned on friends to cry
I kept the faith until you came
To whisper 'its ok to say good-bye'

There wasn't any funeral
Or ceremony to attend
Only the thought that not giving up
Would bring you back again

I know you're watching over us
My family and I
From paradise up above
There is no need to cry

In life you were always there for me
I loved you like a brother
Now you are forever free
I remember you like none other



Thursday, July 18, 2013

Crying Wolf

Paige has never been one to go with the flow.  She creates her own flow and expects everyone to follow her.  It doesn't surprise me when she's difficult or changes her mind frequently.  I admire the fact that she can make friends so easily and gets along with everyone while maintaining her own personality.  It does surprise me when she decides to put on a different persona in public and makes me look like a crazy person - or in this specific case, a child abductor. 

I had plans to attend a volunteer orientation for our local humane society and Hubby had a fire thing up the same night so Grama and Papa had said they would take P for us while we went about our business.  I decided to do the whole two birds/one stone thing and walk Paige and Bauer over to G&P's.  Bauer needed the exercise anyway and it really is not that far. 

Our street does not have sidewalks which suits me just fine tax wise - but that means I always want Paige to hold my hand and Paige thinks that I'm being over bearing because she's like two YEARS old already and can Do. Everything. Herself.  On our quiet side street I usually just let her walk but insist she stay right next to the curb so that I'm walking between her and the actual road. 

We do however, have to cross a highway to get to G&Ps and this is where I draw the line. Paige MUST hold my hand crossing the highway.  It is a crosswalk but without lights and people are notorious for whipping right through without even looking.  

We walked up to the crosswalk.  I grabbed Paige's hand - she immediately started struggling and fighting me.  {I'm also carrying a baggie full of steamy dog turd at this point}  I resist and walk holding her arm while she cries, screams and tries desperately to throw herself onto the highway, going so far as to lift her legs so that I look like I'm holding her up by her arm.  I can see the looks on the motorists faces as we take 10 minutes to cross. The judgment and head shaking. 

'Bad mother!' I see their gazes scold. 
Oh well what do I care what Susie Minivan thinks of me.  Then as we are half way across the road Paige looks out at the cars on either side and screams "HELP ME!" 

I'm expecting an unannounced visit from CFS in the next 2 - 5 days. 

Teens out there currently being embarrassed by your moms using current slang incorrectly, reminding you about personal hygene in front of your friends etc.- know this: YOU started it.  Any embarrasment your parents bring upon you is well deserved I assure you.



Parents can be embarrassing at any age as displayed by a very tiny Paige...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Fair time in this small town

Another year of the fair has come and gone.  A marker that summer is indeed here and in fact almost half over.  The fair means something different to everyone - but it is always a success.  In my younger days it was a three day event that one of my besties always hosted.  It was BBQing with good friends some old and some new (that girl is a magnet for cool people), loud music, the fair and sometimes even a 2 am bacon making festival.  It was a weekend where you didn't know what was going to happen but you knew you were going to have a great time.

Now that I'm married and have a child the fair is different - it's still fun but in a different way.  Take this weekend on Friday my bestie S came out from Winnipeg and she, Chad and I took Paige {and Bauer} to the fair.  Paige went on rides and watched Daddy play games and win her prizes.  We walked around and saw all there was to see.  We capped it off with a visit to Syl's for ice cream and called it a night.  Getting home after 10 it was a quick bath and bedtime for Paige.  Saturday night Paige was with her Nana and Papa so Mom and Dad could go out and have a little fun that was not G rated.  Huzzah!  And fun we did have - all in moderation {mostly}

Anyway - like always the fair was a lot of work (Chad and I both put in volunteer hours) but also a lot of fun.  I wish I had some pictures of Chad in gear working at the demo pits but don't  :( boo!

Ah well - here's a couple pictures that I did manage to snap:

Most deadpan expression award goes to...
You can't tell but she loved it! Rode this ride 3 times! 

Can't forget about Syl's! 
Aaaand finally the bribed smile ;) 



Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Bauer 1 : Tami 0

When people think of puppies they tend to think of cute, wriggling, fluffy little things.  All sweet and licking you with that puppy breath smell - right?

You probably don't think of being humiliated in front of neighbours you've only just met. 

Well why, oh why would you think of that?  How could a puppy humiliate you in front of your neighbours?  How can a puppy humiliate you at all?  They're so. darn. cute.

Puppies are cute for the same reasons babies are cute - rage control.

It was a Sunday morning, well er- mid morning to afternoon, and the puppy needed to go out.  Chad and I had been working in the house all morning so I was still in my pajamas - because when you're painting and getting all grubby anyway, why change your clothes? The puppy needed to go outside to pee.  Okay lets go.  So I go outside kid, puppy and me in my Pj's.(<- mistake #1)  But whatever, right?  I mean its only for a couple of minutes while the puppy does his business.  I look around and there's a couple piles for me to pick up.  I'll just run inside for one second and grab a plastic bag. (<- mistake #2)  I run inside grab a plastic bag from under the sink and run back outside.  The dog is gone.  Uh-oh.  Bauuer, Baaaauer (sugary sweet syrup voice) Ohhhhh Bauuuer where are you babbbby?

In the neighbours yard.  Oh I guess he knows he can duck under the fence.  Dang.  I run over to the fence- commmme heeeeere Bauuuuer! Look what do I have commmmme hhhherrrreeee (desperation seeping into my voice)  But I'm too late.  He is taking a dump under our neighbours trampoline. 

Now what?!?

Do I go to their front door - in my pajamas? crap.  Here's where 3 scenarios play out in my head - they are in order from most to least dignifying.

1. I manage to snafoo the dog put him in the house, change into actual decent clothing and go knock on their front door, then explain how sorry I am but that my dog slipped under the fence and could I go clean up the 'surprise' he left during his visit?  We share a laugh and they say go ahead, what a cute puppy you have! I smile warmly and thank them for their patience.

2. I sneak (actual term is probably break and enter) into their backyard when their vehicles leave and clean up the poo. Nobody is any the wiser.  This scenario involves them not noticing the dog or the poo and also hoping they don't have like security cameras and junk.

3.  Here is what actually happened:  I stood awkwardly at their back gate (in my pajamas) holding a plastic bag when the mom of the family noticed me and came to their patio door, opened it and said "...Hello..?" to which I replied "Hi, my dog ducked under the fence and has left a 'surprise' under your trampoline - could I please clean it up?"  Neighbour lady, " .. Sure... You have two dogs ?! " with a look that made me feel like an animal hoarder.  "yep, sure do. I replied" It wasn't enough that he had to poo under the trampoline but like in the middle.  So I had to crawl on my hands and knees pick up the poo and crawl back out.  I picked up my dog and my plastic bag and exited back to my yard.  Oh and did I mention she was wearing a gorgeous summer dress, hair done, oh yeah and they had company over at the time. 

When Chad and I made our list of pro's and con's to getting a puppy - this one DEFINITELY wasn't on there.   Any good ideas on how to convince my neighbours that they don't need to move we aren't weirdo's?  Anything I've thought of would only remind them that I'm the girl who crawled under your trampoline to pick up poop. 

Sigh.  Good thing he's cute.  (that frickin' dog better save my life one day he OWES me now)  



Friday, July 5, 2013

A Paige post

Something we all know, or are at the very least aware of the fact that its a common sentiment.  Kids grow up too quickly! 

Paige falls into that category.  She corrects me when I call her 'baby', actually she corrects me even when I'm not calling her anything.  She is sassy by nature but also seems to enjoy it.  Examples:

me: come here, baby, let's get dressed!
paige: I not a baby! I'm RUNNING AWAY *giggles*

me: paige, 5 more minutes then its bed time kaypasa?
*paige hears** 5 more minutes until bed (which is the WOooooRRST).  Okay, Pasa?
me: well that's nice but bedtime it will be in 5 minutes now you're wasting them being upset.
paige: (pointing a finger at me sternly) I no LIKE that!

me: paige, eat your food.
paige: its not food, its supper!
me: Ok, eat your supper.
paige: nooo its FoooooD not supper!

I often say to her, no way jose! (pronounced HO-say) when she wants to do something she shouldn't.  Paige thought this sounded fun to say - and lets face it, it is - so she tried but it came out 'no way josie' (Joe-sie) and then after a few weeks at it no way hosie (Hose-y) It's cute and funny to watch her learn a phrase that she thinks is neat.  The only thing funnier?  And I may not have 100% of people with me on this but when I say its bedtime and she's super-ridiculous tired instead of just crying 'NO' she cries 'NO WAY JOSE' and it makes me crack up every. single. time. which makes her more mad.

But one of the funniest things I've ever seen her do - and I totally should NOT have laughed but I couldn't help it- happened shortly after we moved.  (background info - when she is purposefully ignoring me or throwing a tantrum I often say, 'Paige, you're not listening to me and until you are I'm going to go over there' and let her have her fit.  The hubby and I were sitting on the couch after a long day and Paige came up to him and with her back turned to me said "You're not listening to me! HUMPH" and clapped her lips together.  She dileberately mocked me in front of me to Chad.  He looked at me and we both just bust a gut laughing.  Which, of course, made her do it over and over again - and we continued to laugh.

So there you have some Friday Paige-isms.  There are plenty more and I'm sure, plenty more on the way.

Have a great weekend!



Monday, June 24, 2013


Well I've been off the grid, so to speak, for a little over a week.  We have been moving, painting, working, cleaning and running errands non-stop.  I've gotta say, not relaxing at all, but the best holiday I've ever taken. 

We have successfully {almost complete} rennovated the new house, or home I suppose.  There is no 'old house' anymore just our home.  Everything is so fresh and new and exciting.  Everything in our house is organized! I have space, TONS of space.  Paige has space, Hubby has space.  We are in heaven. 

Also, recently I applied for and accepted a new position within Access Credit Union.  I am soon to be part of our loans team.  Not a lender yet, but the first step on that journey. 

If that wasn't enough change for you - we also brought home a puppy yesterday! He is adorable and we are all very much in love with this little fuzzball.  His name is Bauer and I am most excited about going home to see him at lunch!  

Before and after pictures of the house to come after the bathroom is finished {drywall mud takes FOR-ever to dry!}



Friday, June 14, 2013

T - 2 days

We get our house keys Monday.  THIS Monday.  FOR REAL!!

Also, yesterday I recieved some amaaaaazing news!  I had planned to sand down and re stain the  hardwood floors in our new house.  Alot of people told me not to - alot of people said that's the kind of thing you dont DIY.  I felt it in my guts that maybe I ought to call.  I'm a big believer in signs and baby, there were NEON signs saying CALL this number!  A couple we know hired a company to re-do the floors in her house and they turned out amazing - also the company was incredible to deal with.  Helpful, friendly, honest - everything you want in a business.  I caved I called and got the number - I called the company.  They were friendly and helpful from the word 'go'.  I explained to them our situtaion that the floors only need re-doing because part of the floor has been exposed and part has been covered (but not glued).  The expert on the line informed me that all we need to do is roll up the carpet and wait 2 to 3 months and the floor will look just like the other part - it just needs to be exposed to sunlight.  He explained it all out to me and gave me the quote I wanted anyway.  You know you're dealing with a good company when they tell you that you don't actually need them.  He could've told me anything and I'd  have believed it. 

I am so exstatically happy!  No sanding, and no money needs to be spent on the floors!! Eeek!  Now all we have to do is paint!  Painting certainly seems like a breeze after researching refurbishing a floor.  Plus this means I'll be guaranteed to get all of my painting done before moving day!!

Monday at 10 am sharp I meet with our contractor, who is closing in a window for us, and our plumber to get started!  I open the house they get going and I take all of my {before} pictures and then get painting!

There is so much to do and I am so very excited to see our dreams take shape! 

Have a fantastic weekend!



Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Naked in target

Well not quite.

Paige and I had been to a doctor's appointment in a city close to our town about 30 minutes away.  Everything went well - everybody's healthy.  Perfect.  The only time Paige and I go to McDonald's is after the doctor or shots.  It is something we have done since she was a year old and will probably always do.  It was such an early appointment we even made it for breakfast.  I had a list of to-do's that Friday because it was the day that Paige was going away over night (TWO nights) with her grandparents at their lake place in Ontario.  I knew Paige needed a new spring jacket, a new bathing suit and some sandals - seeing as her pink croc look-a-likes didn't come home from daycare and haven't turned up yet. (they might - I'm still hoping!)  We didn't stop just came straight from McDonalds to the Red Apple in our town.

I scooped up Paige and carried her in she wanted to get down so I let her.  She tried on a few jackets and picked out the one she liked.  She picked the blue one - not the pink one.  I laid out 3 bathing suits for her a pink two piece (tankini), the blue version of the tankini and a nautical one piece (navy and white stripes with a red ruffle AH-dorrrrable!)  Can you tell which one I wanted her to pick???  First she picked it! She picked the navy one piece I inwardly boasted look at my modest little 2 year old - then she changed her mind quick as a whip and picked the blue tankini... hm well ok.  We then made our way over to the shoes... she insisted on runners, but needed sandals we went back and forth for a few minutes until she agreed sandals were better.  Then we browsed through the different pairs until we found one we could agree upon. 

Then I saw. 

How could I not have seen this The. Whole. Time. we were in the store?!

My daughter was not wearing pants or shoes.

Baaaaaack up to the drive from city to town.  About 10 minutes from home Paige decided she needed to pee.  You don't argue when a 2 year old says I need to pee, even if they say they can hold it - they probably can't.  So we pulled over and she took FOR-ever to go.  Like 10 minutes.  By the time she finally peed I got her to shake her butt around. (air-dry, yes we are hillbilly's so nice of you to ask) I was a bit exasperated.  I put her panties and socks back on and said we'll put your shorts and shoes on before we go in the store ok? Yep, she agreed.

Except.  That we didn't.  And I didn't notice.  AT ALL. 

Parent of the year right here.

I rushed Paige, who is confused at why we are in a hurry all of a sudden, to the register to pay for our things.  I explain to the cashiers that I did not notice she was pants-less and why we are in such a state.  One laughs it off, the other very seriously hands me the bathing suit bottoms and asks, "Did you want to put these on her?" 

Uhm, no.  We have pants in the car and also she's not NUDE - I mean reallly, panties and bathing suit bottoms cover the same square footage. 

It only gets worse.

I get into the car and something dawns on me... while we were in the shoe area Paige was sitting on the floor trying on shoes - unbeknownst to me, pants-less - when a lady came and rang the bell to use the fitting room.  She rang the bell, which sounds like a door bell, and Paige shouted out DING DONG DING DONG SOMEBOOODY'S HEEREE!! I saw the lady smile a bit (I mean Paige is completely adorable and when she's also being hilarious good luck not smiling) then turned to look at Paige - her face changed she sort of made a weird look and looked away.  I thought nothing of it - chalked it up to the fact that Paige was making a mess of the shoe isle.  Not so.  She glanced at your kid and then immediately judged you for have a half naked, shoe-less child in a store... ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  I think my face was red right into Saturday.

So not naked in target but pants and shoe-less in Red Apple just didn't have the same ring... and for all my embarrasment she may as well have been naked. 

So far this is my most embarrassing moment as a parent - what's yours?



Thursday, June 6, 2013

I like to move it, move it!

I like to move it, move it,
She likes to move it, move it,
He likes to move it, move it,
You like to ("move it!")

If you've ever seen the movie Madagascar you just heard that song being sung in your head by a bunch of lemur looking things and its probably still playing... haha I know it is in mine!  I do like to move it - on the dance floor, while cleaning the house, during a workout, but right now we are in the middle of actually moving it.  As in, the contents of our house.  And oooh MY is there alot to move.

I have moved alot.  In total counting childhood - at least 20 times but probably more.  I'm an expert at packing and when it comes to moving decision making.  What stays and what goes are things that need to be decided in a minute.  No himming, no hawing - just cold hard keep, toss or donate.  Packing and un-packing come easily to me but I'm aware of how much time it takes to pack up a house.  There is an order, a rythm you need to hit.  I have had the gift of time for this move.  Six weeks to pack up is now down to four...  er two and a half yeah make that 1.  I kinda figured this would happen - I mean how easy is it to tell yourself "oh pfft you have 6 SIX whole weeks to pack... take your time, put your feet up." Yeah no.  It dwindles pretty quick.  Add in two people who work full time with already busy after hours schedules and you've got a recipe for an un-packed house.  

Also, someone should really mention to the hubby that unpacking boxes AFTER they've been packed IS NOT helpful in any way.  The fact that you wanted to watch a movie that was already in a box and it wasn't in the first four you opened (and partially emptied!!!!!!) does not factor in for me.  The other day, I walked in to find my tediously packed boxes UNDONE.  So I left them for a week.  Stewn about, open, haphazard.  After a week I could tell it was grating on him.  This morning he stepped on a toy firetruck (cleverly hidden by Paige in between two boxes) on his way out the door and I finally found it in my heart to fix what he had undone.  I re-packed, re-sealed and re-stacked the boxes and cleaned up the new things Paige had decided to 'pack' in them.  No, baby shoes and DVD's do not go in the same box but at least she's trying - haha.

This weekend will be awesome, difficult, exhausting and fulfilling.  Awesome because of the quantity of work we will be able to get done.  Difficult because the only reason we'll be so productive is that my baby is going away for the weekend to the lake with grama and papa.  Without me.  3 hours away in a different province.  For 2 nights.  My rational brain knows she'll have an awesome time and everything will be fine but my inner mommy-bear is clawing at rational-mom and lunging against the harness of letting go.  Letting go of our children at the right times is just as important as holding them close but that's a topic for another post.  Our weekend will be exhausting because it will be alot of physical labor, moving things, cleaning, organizing, packing - and fulfilling because by Sunday we want to be 95% done.  Only the bare necessesities should be out and we should have boxes at the ready for them to be put into. (Are you singing the Bear necessities song from The Jungle Book?  I know I am.) 

Also today is Friday for me, I have tomorrow off and it is booked up!  We have a doctors appointment, lunch and then I drop Paige off for her big trip! BIG smiles and after she's gone I can be sad for a minute but not for long because I have a coffee date.  Then appointments in the afternoon, a trip to Winnipeg, dinner, shopping (for house stuff) annnd home to pack, pack, pack everything!

I'll let you know and I'll do my darndest to take pictures of the process, good, bad and OF COURSE ugly. 



Friday, May 31, 2013


Do you have a sister?  I do, but I didn't always.  I find people tend to think that sisters have to be born to the same parents - not so, in my case.  The people who aren't lucky enough to be born into sisterhood sometimes strike it lucky a little down the road when they find their sisters.

I was never one to have oodles and oodles of friends.  My family moved alot and I always made friends easily but then we would move.  My brothers are some of my best friends. But one day, just like in the fairy tales, we finally settled down in a little town where it looked like we wouldn't be moving any more.  It was there that I found my sisters.  We are all very different from one another.  In adolesence and even teenagehood sometimes this caused fights and problems.  Not unlike biological sisters - we squabbled, we annoyed one another but I also knew that no matter what these girls had my back.  I could come to them with any problem and all my secrets and they would listen and help in the best way they knew how.  They were the kind of friends where our parents knew one another and my sister's moms were as likely to give me hell for something as my own mother was.

As we grew up many of them have scattered, travelling the world, pursuing their dream career, experiencing working and living in a foreign country and just generally spreading their wings and living life.  We all still keep in contact, but its never the same as it is in highschool where you see each other every day and know all of their day to day things.  I read, on another blog I follow ( ) a quote from the office - "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." - Andy Bernard.  I couldn't have put it better myself. 

The prompt for this post was a lengthy skype date with one of my sisters.  I miss that girl so much.  ((I miss all of you so much!))  We talked late into the night and I can't wait to hug her in just two months!  Until then I am forever grateful for the many ways there are to connect with one another.  Have a great weekend everybody!



Thursday, May 30, 2013

Slowing down

It's something we should all know how to do.  But do we actually do it?  It's something I'm being forced to consider. 

Overnight, for no obvious reason, Paige has started stuttering.  It's not something she can control and she gets very upset when she can't make her wants or needs known right away.  At first we just kind of ignored it, waiting for her to finish her sentence.  Then we tried to help her by re-stating what she said without stuttering and letting her try again, slower.  It's helping a little but she's still doing it and is still frustrated by it.  I really feel for her.  I mean she's been talking since she was a year old and talking in sentences since a year and a half.  She also speaks properly most of the time, using correct pronouns etc.  For her to not be understood is almost a foreign concept now and its really upsetting for little Paige.  Yeah it seems crazy but I was the same way.  Maybe its because I talked so early but I also speak very quickly.  I am also always, always busy.  Going somewhere, doing something, rushing.  Always rushing.  It actually brings a song from my childhood to mind.

I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

I asked my co-workers about it at coffee time this morning and someone brought up that their son had developed a stutter the same way Paige has, almost overnight.  She took him to the doctor about it and the doctor said the solution was simple.  Slow down.  When life is too fast and they feel rushed they are trying to hurry but they're too little.  They can't.  I feel terrible.  I did this.  We are in the process of packing as we will be moving in 2 to 3 weeks so yeah - my house is chaos.  I am always trying to cram more into a day because there is SO. MUCH. to do.  But at what cost? 

I want to cry just typing this.  No mother wants to cause their child stress.  I don't want her to feel rushed.  I guess I always, or almost always, feel in a rush - I don't want her to feel the way I do and yet that's exactly what I'm doing.  I can't thank my co-worker enough.  With one simple comment she just changed my life.  I need, NEED to slow down - in every aspect of my life.  It will take more 'after hours' work on my part I do believe but it will be so worth it if I can help my baby girl.



Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Improptu getaway

This past weekend was a busy one - I could've used another day just to rest up - or accomplish something at home. 

Friday after work Paige, my mom and I went to my Granny's farm for a visit.  It is about a 40 minute drive but we love it there!  Paige l-o-v-e-s animals but especially the big ones.  "I go see the cows mommy! I neeeeed ta go see the cows!" As soon as she'd given out her hugs to Granny and Grandpa we were off to see the animals. 

First stop was the chicks - but they're not so yellow and fluffy any more.  They're starting to be more like chickens so we didn't stop there for long.  Next up was the cow.  I'll explain a little here - my grandparents have lots of cows however they recently bought one that they intend to use as a milk cow - however she did not have a very good home previously so they are fattening her up and letting her settle into her new life before they let her be bred.  She is in the main barn yard area sperated from the other cows, horses and sheep by panels and fences.  I called and called for her to come over but no such luck.  She's still a little wary of people but she's warming up.  Paige however, must have intrigued her.  (shes unnamed as of yet but they're working on it fow now lets call her Bessie)  Paige reached out and touched her nose - just a bit - but I think Paige must've smelled sweet.  She usually does, sweet and sticky.  Thereafter Bessie followed Paige.  Grandpa took Paige to see Mrs.Potts' kittens.  There are 4 and oh my are they cute! There is a black tabby, a cream, an orange with faint stripes and a regular tabby.  Paige was so sweet with them.  When we got up to leave Grandpa opened the barn doors and there was Bessie waiting for Paige.  We saw the horses, sheep, and laying hens and everywhere we went Bessie was not far away.  Paige even gathered eggs for the very first time!!

It was a really special moment to see her performing a task with Grandpa's gentle instruction much the same way I was taught some 20 + years ago.  We went in for supper and had some good old fashioned mennonite fare.  Rollkuchen with watermelon, saskatoon sauce and rhubarb sauce.  As well as home made farmer sausage and Warshbobbit.  <-- spelt wrong FOR SURE but that is how you say it.  It's basically a caserole dish with farmer sausage on the bottom and a biscuit dough on top.  (not my thing but I had my rollkuchen (Rawl - cuke - en ) and watermelon.  We ate until we were stuffed, un-button your pants, take off your belt full - then Granny, Mom and I played scrabble while Paige and Grandpa built block towers.  It was lovely.  A perfect evening.

The next morning Hubby had a breakfast meeting and we decided we were going to go to the lake.  I packed up an over night bag for each of us and when he got home we started our 3 hour drive to Lac Lu.  By the time we reached Homewood (15 minutes in) we realized we had forgotton Paige's soother.  *great*  Neither of us wanted to turn around so we kept on going.  By Brunkild we had decided a pit stop at Kenaston Walmart was in order.  My lap top wasn't working to play the DVD's we had brought and Paige was already not digging this whole 'drive for a really long time' thing.   We bought road-trip gold there.  A portable DVD player that just plugs into the car.  Perfect.  No dying battery problems.  Also we did buy .. MORE soothers.  Something I swore I wouldn't do.  Ah well - what is parenting if not figuring out you were wrong? Right? ugh.

The road trip continued.  We were a little past Winnipeg when we saw smoke - lots of smoke.  We discussed what we thought it could be but as we got closer it was pretty clear that it was a car accident of some kind.  For anyone who doesn't know my Hubby is a fire fighter.  We are a fire family.  This was the worst part of the whole weekend because sometimes?  Human kind sickens me.  We are stopped because clearly there is an accident.  People got out of their cars to get a better look.   Please forgive me if you've ever done this.  But DON'T DO THIS.  People are letting their kids out of the car walking up closer to the scene.  I'm sorry.  This is not a road-side attraction - it is a tragedy.  You don't need to know whats happening because it does not concern you.  I was so angry.  My Hubby, bless his heart - wasn't, he sighed and told me there is no point getting angry.  That is just how people are.  Nosey.  A vehicle, possibly two are on fire - and you want your children to see this??? Why?  You are watching the worst day of someone's life and possibly the last.  (not in this case thank goodness everyone was ok! )

 Put yourself in that car.  Do you want 20 strangers staring at you while emergency crews try to save you, your family, and your vehicle?  No matter if it was an accident in which everyone survived and is fine or much worse - it is not something you want your kids to see.  Be a decent human being and don't leave your vehicle if there is information that you need to know - an officer will come and tell you at your window.  Sorry for the rant - but this is a very tender issue for me.  I'll just get down off my soap box now...

We got turned around and followed the traffic.  I texted Hubby's family and we decided to try and use back roads to drive around the accident.  An extra hour and a half and we were kind of back where we started... actually a little farther away but we saw lots of scenery including LOADS of Paige's favourite - COWS!  And honestly?  It was fun to be on an adventure with Hubby.  We didn't have a clue where we were but we both just enjoyed the ride and soaked up the Disney songs playing in the background. (haha)

  We left our house at 9:00 am and arrived at the lake around 2:00 pm.  It was a long haul!  We did finally get there and had a good time seeing everyone and getting caught up.  Paige made her rounds and got lots of treats and attention!  We had a good visit and I'm so glad we went.  We both seem to just unwind when we get there.  We arrived home Sunday afternoon and spent the afternoon puttering around.  All in all it was a great weekend - a play on the farm, a road trip, an adventure, some R & R and lots of family time!

How was your weekend??



Friday, May 17, 2013

Something about rain

I love rain.

I love everything about it.  Some of my favourite memories are brought rushing forward by the sounds and smells of a gray, rainy day.  I was never a kid who was afraid of thunder and lighting.  Quite the opposite.  I remember on the farm, Granny sending my 2 brothers, 4 cousins and I outside in our underwear to play in a warm rain shower.  Squiging our toes in the mud and jumping in puddles with bare feet, delirious with laughter after convincing the younger ones that it was not mud they were standing in, but quicksand.

I loved sitting at the kitchen table coloring while listening to the thunder and trying our best to draw the flashes of lightning illuminating the night.  Our good ol' Rozzie-dog cowering behind Grandpa's recliner, slinking further back into the corner with every crack and shudder from outside.  Even knowing why she was afraid didn't scare us any.  Rozzie had once been a barn puppy, sleeping peacefully on a stormy night, when the barn she was in was struck by lightning and caught fire.  She made it out but ever after that detested storms.  We would cuddle and hug her trying to calm her nerves - telling her it was only God's angels bowling and that everything would be alright.  How funny that must've looked!  Two little blonde headed girls trying to make a 100 lb great dane/german shepard feel better.

Even as I became a teenager, rainy days never lost their appeal.  For a large part of my youth I worked at a golf course in the kitchen and rainy days were usually slow.  They were spent prepping but prepping doesn't require much concentration so there was lots of story telling and good natured ribbing.  The people I met at that job helped shape who I am and taught me a lot.  One person in particular - when we met it was like we had known each other a hundred years already.  Our souls knew each other even if our faces were unfamiliar.  It was not in a romantic way but in a way I can't even explain.  One such memory is of us, while on a break, sitting on the freezers in the the storage room with the loading door wide open.  A storm was rolling in and the poplars were swaying in the breeze.  He got out his guitar, played a melody and sang a song I didn't know.  He's not in this world any more and I'm so grateful that I knew him.

Time goes on and we continue to learn and grow.  Sometimes too quickly, sometimes not quickly enough.  It was also on a rainy night, that I fell in love.  I managed to get my car stuck in the mud on the side of a country road - and had no one to call but the man I now call my husband.  He came to my rescue even though I did not know what road I was on.  Even though I gave him the most terrible directions on how to get to where I thought I was.  He came.  We left my car there and he drove me where I needed to go.  All the way there we talked about our families.  Competing to see whose was the most dysfunctional.  I fell asleep that night listening to the rain, knowing that I loved him.

So, you see?  To me a rainy day is not just the weather du jour.  The feeling of the cool air on my face and the sound of pitter patter on the ground is all it takes and I am transported a million miles away to a childhood memory. 

Tonight after work it will be time to create some childhood memories for Paige.  It will be a puddle jumping, fun in the rain kind of evening.  If I'm lucky she'll love it just as much as I do.




Saturday, May 4, 2013

Stars align

Sometimes the stars align so that something awful happens.  It sucks and it hurts when tragedy strikes down with its iron fist.  It makes us question our lives and how we live.  It makes us realize that you really never know. 

For a fire fighter wife such as myself - we know this.  I know that at any time, anywhere if hubby's pager goes off - he leaves.  It could be a nothing call.  It could be a call that will haunt his dreams and turn him quiet for weeks.  It could fall somewhere in the middle. 

Every once in awhile life smacks you in the face.  Events that come to pass turn your gaze solemn and your heart sad.  Events that even though you may not be directly connected, you weep for the ones who are.  You ache for their loss.  Your dreams are filled with role reversals.  You want to help.  But no amount of help you can give can ever make your fellow fire family whole again. 

I have no answers.  I have only prayers.  Prayers for peace for their minds, sleep for their bodies, and strength for their souls.  Please join me.  One more reason I love small towns, is the power a community has when it comes together to help a family struck by the unthinkable.  Please pray and help someone today.     

Friday, May 3, 2013

The sky is blue and it is a good day

I don't really have much to post.  There is a lot of bad in the world.  I believe there is also a lot of good.  One good thing in the world is my husband.  I mostly refer to him here as 'hubby' or 'C' but anyone who knows me in real life knows him.  Here's a friday fun tribute to my other half.

Oh my husband
It's you and me
We met so young
It was hard for others to see
That we were meant for each other
Me for you, and you for me

You bring me down to earth
When I'm floating in a worried sky
You take the cotton out of the vitamins
And turn the lids off the pickle jars

You make mondays fun
And sweatpants classy
Even though I know
It's not the dog who's gassy

You may not always be listening
When Sid's on the TV
But our date nights
Are great nights

No matter where we are
So long as its you and me

It may not be the best piece of poetry ever written but it 'good enough for the girls I go with' ;)

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!



photo credit A Marie Photography

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

3rd time's the charm for this butter-lover

I have made an incredible discovery!

Something I love more than butter.  More than mayonaise. 

What?  I really love butter and mayo so this was an exciting day!  Okay so maybe I didn't discover anything new to the rest of the world but to me it was a big step.  I love the idea of this food item but have never been able to get myself to eat it.

The Avocado.

Yes. Avocado will continue to be capatalized on purpose.  I've bought them before.  Always with the best of intentions.  Oh I'll just let it get ripe and then I'll make guaccamole! {which I've never had or made in my life}  I'll look up recipes that have avacado in them and I'll use it in that.  They are supposed to be sooo good for you - I'd tell myself. Then I'd either forget about it or keep squeezing it never knowing is it soft enough?  Is it too soft now?  Did I wait to long? Then I'd put it back in the fridge and let it go reallly bad and throw it out.  (ugh I shudder at my own wastefulness)

Twice now this cycle has played out.  Today I saw them on sale 5 for $5.  I picked out two one that was clearly too hard to eat and one that felt juuuuust right.  I inwardly cringed at what I was sure was going to happen.  Then I decided, no.  You are going to eat this fruit. (vegetable?  I really don't know.) I went home and did everything I needed to do and started running short on time.  MAKE A SANDWICH! I instructed myself.  USE THE AVOCADO.  Okay. Okay I did it.  I cut into it and all the way around, twisted it and the Avocado popped open, just like it should.  It looked green, slick and buttery.  I popped out the pit and it was shooting across the kitchen.  I cut open a bun, (a whole wheat bun that yours truly hand made yesterday!) sliced 1/4 of the avocado and divided it to cover both sides of the bun.  Then I got really brave and sliced up part of the apple I was already eating.  I dug in the fridge for yesterday's chicken breast from supper and plopped a 1 oz piece right in the middle.  It looked beautiful.  It looked delicious.  I braced myself and took a bite.

I was surprised and delighted.  It was amazing! Better than amazing! It was like I had loaded up my sandwich with butter and mayo!  The buttery-ness, the crisp sweetness of the apple and slight spice of the chicken came together in wonderful harmony.  It was easily one of the best sandwiches I've ever eaten and it took less than 5 minutes to make, had 0 preservatives and was full of all natural goodness.  Yes it was 7 points.  The bun was 4, avocado 2 and chicken 1 but wow was it delicious and I feel good about what I ate.  I mean its healthy fat, healthy complex carbs and protein - you can't go wrong!

Now that I've dedicated a whole post to The Avocado.  What's a food you've been afraid to try?  Why?  Did you try it?  Did you love it or hate it?  Will you ever?  I think it's better to try it and spit it out {or in my case scarf it down} than to never try it and always wonder if you like it!



Monday, April 29, 2013

Spring fever


I picked Paige up from day care on Friday with a raging fever.  She was hot, weepy, clingy and wimpering.  Oh the humanity!  It broke my durn heart!  She is not like that - ever - unless she is sick.  We went home and she fell asleep on our bed almost immediately.  Fast forward to 9 pm and she woke up and told us she was hungry.  That sounded reasonable she hadn't eaten since snack time at day care and even then didn't eat much.  She downed 2 yogurt tubes and a cheese string.  I asked hubby if he thought I should get a barf pail ready - he said oh no she isn't 'that kind' of sick.  This is just a fever not a flu.  Oh ok. 20 minutes later Paige wimpers and pukes all over the couch, floor and herself.  Chad ran {yes ran} upstairs to start a bath for Paige only because the sight of puke nevermind the smell of it is enough to make him ralph,  Yes the big tough firefighter who can handle all kinds of other things can not do toddler barf.

We got her cleaned up and put back to bed - pumped a little gravol in her and called it a night.  The hubby was at the fire hall for most of Saturday - Paige was still hot Saturday morning and we had lots of cuddles and a big nap right after lunch time. 

After she woke up she seemed to be a new kid!  Full of energy and happy as a lark.  I continued to spike her apple juice with gravol for the rest of Saturday just to be sure but man it was a crazy turn around! She wanted to play and go outside - so we did!  After supper the hubby and I took her for a ride in her wagon to the play ground where we played on the play structure and went down the slide over and over!  I'm not sure if Paige or her Daddy had more fun though... At any rate it was a great time!  We went back home and had a quiet evening. 

Sunday we went for brunch with the hubby's brother and girl friend whom Paige calls 'auntie nin and auntie nathan' even though nathan is definitely of the 'uncle' variety.  It was very nice!  Great service, a DELISH buffet and unbeatable company!  I mean lemon pie with my breakfast?  Yes please! {good thing it's only something we do once in awhile!!}  Later Paige had a play date with Auntie N & N while I did went for a work out.  {that pie was so worth it}  They played on the swings, the slide and we all had an improptu snowball fight in the back yard! All in all a very successful weekend.   

Hope your weekend was great!


Friday, April 26, 2013

A new light

I've been scattered in a hundred pieces this past week.  It has been a whirlwind of information, lists to accomplish, milestones and lessons.  This morning I'm still a little wispy, still processing everything.  Whirlwinds don't leave much time for processing.

I wrote that tidbit on Monday ^ it's currently Friday.  We'll see if I can accomplish even one post.  I have lots on the go but none completed!

Paige's party was last weekend - it was stressful but great!  Check out the pictures in my last post - she had a blast even if I'm not much of a party planner or cake decorater.  Ha-ha I'm sure Paige will forgive me and I'll either eventually learn my lesson and ask for help, get better at that stuff or continue to throw unorganized, messy parties lol!

The day of Paige's party we signed an offer on our house - with conditions of course.  I was excited but had so much to do that I didn't really think about it for long.  Plus if I've learned one thing with the real estate biz its that nothing, but NOTHING is final until it's final.  Fast forward to after the party - I had geniously arranged to have our family pictures and Paige's 2 year pictures taken directly following the party.  Also I insisted that we go to the photographer's studio (downtown Winnipeg) because even though our photographer was more than willing to come to Carman I wanted studio pictures goshdarnit!  The hubby agreed even though the day before Paige's party he basically worked 24 hours of straight physcial labour and was totally wiped out.  We {got lost only once and tried to walk from a parcade BAD idea but.} eventually got there.  Parked (read all signs to make sure it was ok) and went in.  I had neglected to remember what floor her studio was on so we got a little bit lost inside the building (we were both frustrated and spent by this time) and called our FANTASTIC realor who also happens to be our photographer's dad {have I mentioned I LOVE small towns?!?} and he gave us Andrea's number and we found our way there.

We got into the studio and the pictures went oh-so-smoothly! Paige was GREAT! Andrea was GREAT with her!  Paige made everyone smile with her antics and silly faces.  The hubby even seemed to have a good time!  {he's not a fan of pictures certainly not of professional ones}  When all was done we packed up and went down to our...

car was gone.

Yeah. Major panic attack for this girl.  Chad was obviously not happy but kept his cool and took care of us.  Paige had no idea and was still in thebestmoodever. I have no idea why.  Maybe it was the truck load of presents she got right before? Maybe it was a sugar high from birthday cake and animal crackers?  Maybe it was God's way of telling me to calm down that everything was ok.  We rushed back to the studio and thank goodness Andrea was just leaving!  She let us back in and got us to show her where we parked.  In what is apparently a bus zone (not marked because you're supposed to just know?)  I guess people who live in the city know what a bus zone looks like.  These country bumpkins do not.  Andrea called the tow company and Chad spoke with them.  She drove him there and lead him back to us.  $140 later we had our car back, Paige safely strapped in and we were on our way home.  Oh sweet Carman.  We love you!

{Also we love Andrea!  She went WAY above and beyond for us and we are so appreciative!}

Our little adventure in downtown Winnipeg really made something clear to me.  I can't live in a city.  Not that I'm not capable of it - but I don't want to. Ever.  You can't walk down the street without having someone asking you for money or smokes.  You can't trust your surroundings.  You have to silence your child when she starts trying to points to strangers and ask questions about them because you don't know who they are or what they're about to do.  I know that small towns have bad people in them too, don't get me wrong I'm not that naive.  However, chances are in a town as small as the one I live in I can trust that they aren't going to glare at my kid, or swear at her, or act violently.  In Winnipeg I don't know that.  In Winnipeg I felt like now that Paige is not a baby I have to be constantly on edge.  I honestly do not know how parents who live in cities manage.  I guess if you've always lived there you are used to it.  It is commonplace. 

I know that I probably sound dramatic and all places in Winnipeg are not the same as right downtown where we were.  I understand that people have communities within a city that resemble more of a small town.  I just have never been on edge for so long.  When I walk around my town I am not afraid - I can't say that about Winnipeg.  This isn't necessarily Winnipeg's fault either - it is my issue.  This isn't supposed to be a Winnipeg-bash-fest!  {sorry if that's what it seems like}  I like visiting the city.  I have lots of friends and family who live there and I'm sure they are happy to live there!  I am glad for them that they are city-wise and know how to exist there peacefully.  I guess what it boils down to is I have never appreciated where I live like I do today.  I am so thankful that I get to live and work here.  I am grateful that Paige will go to school here and experience much of what I did growing up.

That was what happened to us last weekend and perhaps it needed to happen to solidify that we are really and truly doing the right thing for us right now because....


Yep.  There is a SOLD sign on it! There is also a SOLD sign on another house - the house that we have bought.  Lets just say June is going to be one CRAZY busy month.  All in all it was a great weekend filled with good {and some bad} things but ultimately everything works out.  That is the big lesson.  Take a breath, take a step back and have faith.  God is good.  He will always take care of us.  Sometimes his lessons aren't pleasant but it's usually the tough ones that we remember the best right?



{ps. if you'd like to check out Andrea's work follow the link to see our pictures and many others!


Party Time

I have some pictures to share with you guys - not nearly as many as I would like though.  My un-preparedness has thwarted me again.  I don't have any pictures of the room all set up or any of the food table or the cake (which is ok because although it tasted great it was nooot pretty).  I tried my best but I guess I'm not a very good party planner.  Everyone has said it was good and they had a good time which is great!  Most importantly Paige had fun!  Paige got to see a room full of people she loves and that is the MOST important thing!  She also was spoiled rotten!!  Her summer is going to be a great one!  I can't say this enough, I really can't but THANK YOU to everyone who came, gave Paige a gift, sent a message or thought about our little fam-jam on her birthday or this past weekend! We love you all!!   Ok the good stuff, party pictures!!

Craft Time!

Duck face at such a young age...



Cake fun!
{I didn't know it but she was swiping icing the whole time people were taking pictures :/}

Spoiled <3 Loved

Mastering new wheels!



Thursday, April 18, 2013

My how the time flies

The sky is clear and bright blue.  The sun is dazzling.  I told Paige when we were leaving the house this morning 'Look baby God gave you the sunshine for your birthday!' Today is amazing.  Our baby is 2 years old.  Today I daresay is even better than her original day of birth.  Much less painful anyway.  For anyone who doesn't know this is my 'birth story.'  Fair warning: It's long and somewhat gruesome. 

Stay tuned for birthday party pictures from this coming weekend!

I had been on bedrest since March 15 and was required to take my blood pressure twice a day with very specific instructions.  I must sit in a chair and not move for 5 to 10 minutes.  Don't think about anything nothing happy, nothing stressful, move as little as possible.  When your 10 minutes are up take your blood pressure.  If you're not certain take it again - record it.  I had my parameters that the doc had given me with instructions.  I can't remember what the numbers were anymore but if I was in the 'better' category I could do one thing.  Such as go out for lunch (no walking), Make a meal, fold laundry.  If I was in the 'not great' category It was flat on your back for the day allowed up only to pee.  If I was in the red zone I needed to go to the hospital.  Well one evening Saturday April 16 the hubby suggested his friend J come over for a movie... sure I thought that'll be nice.  We watched a movie, laughed and had a grand time.  It's nice to partake in an 'activity' where everyone is sitting when that's all you can do.  I headed upstairs to bed when I realized darn it I forgot to take my blood pressure.  The cuff was plugged in downstairs.  Oh well I thought I'll just take it in the morning but something stopped me.  That little voice inside your head that knows best - NO it hollered - you MUST take it NOW.  Sigh okay.  So I marched downstairs and waited because having done the stairs twice now I had to sit for an extra 10 to 15 minutes.  I took it and casually glanced down at the numbers... umm 199/100.  Not good.  I called to C who was already in bed.  I think I need to go to the hospital... why he asked - are you having contractions? No but my numbers are bad I'm going to call healthlinks.  Can you get my stuff? Yep.  The answer was quick GET HERE NOW we are making a bed for you.  I waddled out to the car, C close behind bogged down with a suitcase full of items I didn't need to bring.  We chatted on our way starting to feel the pricks of nerves behind our ears.  This could be it.  My due date was still a few days away but this could be it. 

Upon arrival they got us settled and monitored me.  My BP came down to 'high normal' for a hypertension preggo.  They told us I was not leaving tonight, we would see in the morning.  I told C well if this is it you better go home and sleep.  It's not going to get any easier tomorrow.  I had to shove him out the door insisting that him sleeping in a makeshift bed would bring me no comfort - GO I'm a big girl I can handle this.  He left and I passed in and out of sleep.  In the wee hours of the morning I woke with a start.  I could hear screaming, horrible, painful screams.  Once I realized I was in a hospital not at home I started to calm down then I realized I'm also on a maternity floor.  I know why she's screaming.  Dear Lord.  I'm next?!?!  Morning came with a breakfast tray and C arrived with timmie's in hand.  He watched me eat my breakfast and our Doc arrived.  Well she said, given your blood pressure and condition we are going to keep you and induce labour.  C and I being the typical 'first timers' had our birth plan all laid out.  Induction was not on it.  Nor was pain medication - unless I felt I couldn't continue.  The next bit of news hit me right in my pride.  Also because pain - and induced contractions are more painful than natural ones - can raise blood pressure we are going to give you an epidural first and then start your pitocin (contraction medication).  Double bummer.  Because I was so puffy (hypertension will do that to you) it was hard for them to find a vein to put an IV in.  The anesthiologist did my first one and it took him two tries.  Then he did my epidural which the freezing was more painful than the actual giant needle.  Welcome to labour.  50 - 60 second contractions a minute to a minute and a half apart.  Walking was nearly impossible as my feet were so huge and fluid filled that I could not put on flip flops they popped off my feet.. yes there are pictures, no I will not post them here. Lol.  That night as I was in the bathroom leaking and oozing stuff no person wants to see much less see come OUT of them my IV popped out.  (I'm including this part of the story because to my mind it was the worst part of my whole labour and delivery)  At first I didn't realize what had happened all I saw was blood squirting everywhere. Walls, the floor, I didn't know what to think so I called for help.  The nurse rushed in and helped me back to bed.  Oh I thought it's only my IV they'll do another one.  Ha.  Because it was shift change time my seasoned-head-of-the-department nurse had just left and a clear newbie took her place.  She didn't look confident and actually looked kind of scared.  (I would've been too 'here put an IV in a water balloon but don't break it!)  She did 3 tries and each time they have to test it before they take it all the way back out. (which hurts just as much as putting it in)  I guess it's like baseball because the next nurse that came in also did 3 tries then quit.  By try #3 with Nurse 1 I was bawling and felt like quitting but that's not an option.  So you endure.  Nurse 2 called someone up from the emergency room and I felt hopeful.  C was ready to call one of our paramedic friends because this was getting ridiculous.  Emerg guy got there and tried to ask me silly questions so I might forget about my previous trauma.  He was trying so hard.  Poor guy I shut him right down.  Just do it, I said resigned to 3 more failures.  One poke and a few minutes later he declared, It's in!  I was skeptical at best, and you've tested it? Yep, he replied smiling.  I sobbed again, this time happy tears.  If my baby is a boy, I'm naming him after you! I cried.  Well, he said laughing, my name is Kevin!      

To this day, I'm so grateful for Kevin.  You were the light at the end of the IV tunnel!

Fast forward to the morning of Monday, April 18.  24 hours of 'active labour' later and still no baby.  We had been in the hospital since Saturday night and this schtick was getting old fast.  I was tired and doubled in size since I had arrived (fluid retention from all the medications I was on).  C asked if he could run and get a coffee I said yes and bring me blueberry muffins. (from Tim's) Muffin-s? he asked.  Yes. How many? he asked cautiously.  As many as they have.  20 minutes later he arrived with 3 fresh Tim Hortons blue berry muffins.  Oh they smelled so good!  I was about to bite into one when a doctor appeared in the door way STOP! Don't eat that! Seriously.  This is not dramatized.  You're going to have a C section today.  Oh. I kinda saw it coming but hearing those words its still like a bit of a knife to the heart.  The worst thing to us at that moment was a C section.  They gave us a time and then pushed it back.  That happened a few times until we finally got in after 2pm. 

Another funny {funny ONLY in retrospect} moment.  The anestesiologist comes in so I can sign the spinal waiver form.  I optimistically tell him,'I already have an epidural in that they've turned off so you can just put the spinal medicine in there right? I'm smiling ear to ear in my head YES! No more pokes! His face looks somber and he slowly shakes his head no.  (Poor guy I must've looked a mess) No? I ask.  You're going to poke me again aren't you? I yell as I begin to cry again.  I'm sorry, he says, but ma'am I need you to sign the form.  I'm bawling uncontrollably now and C tries his best to comfort me - hun you need to sign the baby will be here so soon.  I scrawl my name on the tear soaked paper.  The poor guy quickly leaves the room - if he'd have had a tail it would've been between his legs.  A whirlwind of medicla activity later I'm being wheeled on my bed down to the OR.  I remember lying there thinking, hm weird because all I could see was the hospital lights one after the other whizzing past.  There was a scene like this in an episode of criminal minds - is it normal to be thinking about criminal minds right now? Hm weird.  I guess that's what 17 {estimation and over exaggeration I'm sure} drugs in your system will do to you when you are a person who doesn't even take tylenol for a headache plus 24 hours of labour and 3 days of almost no sleep.

The nurses and doctors in the OR were great and held my hands (dads aren't allowed in the room when they do the spinal) and wiped my tears.  When I was numb and laying back C was allowed in the room.  I heard them say 'did you feel that test cut?' TEST CUT!!! WHAT THE CRAP!  So that's a no I guess.  What seemed like only minutes but felt like hours later our baby was born.  I heard the doctor say, "It's a boy!" but what he actually said was, It's not a boy!  All drugged out I was in and out of conciousness.  C told me, 'It's a girl' and in my head I said, no its not the doctor just said its a boy - what do you know?  But no words came out.  Then the doctor by my head asked, "Does your little girl have a name?" Ask her Dad I said and started to drift back to sleep.  I don't remember alot after that.  I was in recovery for awhile and eventually wheeled to my room where I saw my baby for what felt like the first time.  I was tearstained, sore, and light headed but over joyed.  She is here, she is perfect and she is ours. 

They say the pain fades and memories of your labour and delivery become vague and hazy the minute you hold your baby.  I can attest that is a bunch of crap.  Nothing is hazy I remember {almost} every minute of it but I can say the minute you see that baby, hold her close to you it is all so very worth it.  Paige has been in this world for 2 years now and every day that I wake up to that smiling (or frowning) face is amazing.  I am so grateful for the gifts that God has given me and so grateful for the honour of being Paige's mom.



Monday, April 15, 2013


This is a catch up post.  Not about any one thing in particular but what I've been up to the last couple of days

Thursday - supper at the hubby's g-ma's house.  A nice dinner, nice to catch up.  It has been way to long!  Plus I always have peppermint tea when I go there and love it. I love peppermint tea and yet I don't buy it? Oh well.

Friday - Hmm what did we do on Friday...? Had a quick supper, Paige was in bed AND asleep at a record 8:45pm then I took off to our friends place J & B to steal their pooch for a run.  He did great!  I was in rougher shape than I like to admit.  I am going to go ahead and blame the weather.  Also note to self: You cannot take a break from couch to 5K for 6 weeks and then jump back in where you left off.  It felt great to get back out there though and since I had doggie friend S with me I was calm, cool and collected.  No more jumping at shadows.  That bark would be enough to scare off any would-be bad guys.  That is what you call a win-win situation.  Win1- I get to run with peace of mind and confidence.  Win2 - S gets a solid amount of energy burnt off.  Win3 - J & B have a dog who is tired out for a bit.  Win4 - I have a running partner who always wants to go faster and run more (thus encouraging me to as well) but will match my pace no matter if I'm running or walking.

Saturday - Cleaned the house, organized a few things that needed it.  Played games with Paige and went for a walk to the fire hall (or in Paigespeak fire house) to see Daddy!  We went to see the fire trucks and Paige loved them!  She would not get in them.  I was trying to get a picture of her and the hubby sitting in the driver's seat... to no avail.  I was sternly told, "No, mommy that is for firefighters!!"

Yeesh.  Do all 2 year olds have such strong opinions?  I certainly hope mine isn't the only one.

Then the hubby and I dropped her off at Nana-Papa's house so we could take off for a date-day.  We went to Costco and got a membership, got alot of great deals and didn't go over budget (yay us!), the hubby documented the whole trip via his facebook - hilarious if you are friends with him do check it out.  After our Costco adventure was over we headed to Wally-ville to finish up our list. (which we of course forgot several key items - doesn't everyone?!?)  After that we went out for supper with my mom and dad in law at Moxies.  Steak, stuffed potato (read bacon and cream cheese) need I say more?  Oh yes I do.  The hubby and I went to the movies right after and saw '42'.  Did we share a popcorn {with butter} and a bag of gummies?  We did.  Also if you get the chance do see that movie.  It is incredible!  All in all Saturday was a great day (not for my diet) but otherwise fantastic!

Sunday - We didn't do a thing.  We stayed home, relaxed, organized, played in costco boxes and Paige lost a mitten.  We literally have searched our whole house and can not find it.  Doubly unfortunate because you can no longer buy mittens in the stores and we have recieved yet another dump of snow.  Today Paige is wearing one purple mitten and one black and red mitten.  It bothers me, but she doesn't seem to care.

And here we are.  Today, Monday it's snowing and raining at the same time (blech).  But my doodle woke up happy and she is all the sunshine I need.  Here's to an inside workout and books and cuddles!

Too cool for school...

Doggie 'S'

Paige and Daddy

What I woke up to this morning... nothing springy here... darn Manitoba..

Paiger in her *gush* adorable hungarian sweater!